第十七章（第17/18页）

Sir Clifford asked to see me, so I went to him. He talked around things and seemed annoyed with me. Then he asked if I knew that even her ladyship's name had been mentioned. I said I never listened to scandal, and was surprised to hear this bit from Sir Clifford himself. He said, of course it was a great insult, and I told him there was Queen Mary on a calendar in the scullery, no doubt because Her Majesty formed part of my harem. But he didn't appreciate the sarcasm. He as good as told me I was a disreputable character also walked about with my breeches' buttons undone, and I as good as told him he'd nothing to unbutton anyhow, so he gave me the sack, and I leave on Saturday week, and the place thereof shall know me no more.

克利福德爵士说要见我，我就去了拉格比。他反复盘问，似乎很生我的气。之后，他问我是否知道连从男爵夫人都被牵扯进来。我说我对什么丑闻毫不知情，从克利福德爵士口中得知此事深感惊讶。他说这对他而言是个莫大的侮辱，我跟他讲，我的洗涤间里挂着画有玛丽女王肖像的日历，那样说来，女王陛下岂不是也成了我的姘头。但他并不欣赏我的玩笑。他说我是个声名狼藉的家伙，总是开着裤裆四处招摇，我反唇相讥，说他即便开着裤裆，也没啥可看的。于是，他就炒了我的鱿鱼，下周六我就会离开，从此，这地方跟我再无瓜葛。

I shall go to London, and my old landlady, Mrs. Inger, 17 Coburg Square, will either give me a room or will find one for me.

我会去伦敦落脚，旧房东英格太太住在科堡广场17号，她应该会收留我，或者帮我找到住处。

Be sure your sins will find you out, especially if you're married and her name's Bertha— There was not a word about herself, or to her. Connie resented this. He might have said some few words of consolation or reassurance. But she knew he was leaving her free, free to go back to Wragby and to Clifford. She resented that too. He need not be so falsely chivalrous. She wished he had said to Clifford: "Yes, she is my lover and my mistress and I am proud of it!" But his courage wouldn't carry him so far.

要知道你们的罪必追上你们，尤其是在娶到像贝莎这样的妻子的情况下——信里没有一个字提到她，没有一句话对她倾诉。这让康妮深感不满。他本应该说些安慰或保证的话。但她明白，他这样做是为了给她选择的自由，选择重回拉格比，重返克利福德身边。而这样的意图同样令她不满。他何必装出这副伪善的气度。她巴不得他当面告诉克利福德：“没错，她是我的情人，我的爱人，而且我为此深感自豪！”可他的勇气显然还没达到如此高度。

So her name was coupled with his in Tevershall! It was a mess. But that would soon die down.

这么说，在特弗沙尔，他和她的私情已经成为茶余饭后的谈资！真是一团糟。可事情很快就会平息。

She was angry, with the complicated and confused anger that made her inert. She did not know what to do nor what to say, so she said and did nothing. She went on at Venice just the same, rowing out in the gondola with Duncan Forbes, bathing, letting the days slip by. Duncan, who had been rather depressingly in love with her ten years ago, was in love with her again. But she said to him: "I only want one thing of men, and that is, that they should leave me alone." So Duncan left her alone: really quite pleased to be able to. All the same, he offered her a soft stream of a queer, inverted sort of love. He wanted to be with her.

她异常愤怒，难以消解的愤怒让人心烦意乱，她因此变得毫无生气。她不知道该做些什么，说些什么，索性也就不说不做。她继续在威尼斯过着自在的日子，跟邓肯·福布斯乘凤尾船过湖畅泳，任凭时光从指缝中溜走。十年前，邓肯曾经追求过她，可惜受挫而回，如今对她旧情复炽。可她只是冷冷地说：“我只要求男人做一件事，那就是别来烦我。”于是，邓肯也听之任之，甚至很高兴能够达到她的要求。不过，他仍然表现出淡淡的奇妙爱意。他想要跟她长相厮守。

"Have you ever thought," he said to her one day, "how very little people are connected with one another. Look at Daniele! He is handsome as a son of the sun. But see how alone he looks in his handsomeness. Yet I bet he has a wife and family, and couldn't possibly go away from them.” "Ask him," said Connie.

“你是否想过，”某天，他对她说，“人们相互之间的联结是多么地微不足道。看看丹尼尔！他英俊得好像太阳神的儿子。但他的英俊之中透出无比落寞的神情。我敢打赌，他准已结婚生子，而且绝不可能背弃自己的家庭。”“不妨问问他。”康妮建议。

Duncan did so. Daniele said he was married, and had two children, both male, aged seven and nine. But he betrayed no emotion over the fact.